You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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