I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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