Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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