Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
