I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
