And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just googled if crying burns calories
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize