You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
