brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
