There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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