You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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