Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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