i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The adults are the big ones right?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
