So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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