hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
