I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
