White coat. Heels.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
