did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I think my moral compass just broke
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