It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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