i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
