So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
