im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
