So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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