I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
