Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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