Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
