Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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