His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
