Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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