Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
