hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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