i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
no you cant smoke seaweed
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
