I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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