She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
