What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
