Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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