Dual....:-)
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
