the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
