I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
