i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
