With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
