Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
