I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
