Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
