I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
