You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
