Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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