My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
