I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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