If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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