we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
