3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
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