oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
