My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
so let's talk penis.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
