we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
