i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
