im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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