Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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