i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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