she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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